This is the first in a series of blog posts about mentoring young people.
“First, do no harm” – attributed to Thomas Sydenham (1624-1689)
In psychology, psychiatry, counseling, and other helping professions there are governing bodies that outline specific ethical principles, and there are laws based on these principles that govern licensed professionals. However, there is no governing body for mentor/coaches. Although the lack of a governing body may appear to offer more freedom since there isn’t a group dictating professional practice, the lack of a governing body actually presents a conundrum because there is no set of codified guidelines to help guide you in your mentoring/coaching relationship. Regardless of the technique you use in working with youth (e.g., reframing, asking open ended questions, practicing problem-solving), there needs to be a set of guiding principles to your work with youth.
In this section we will discuss important guiding ethical principles to follow when working with youth. These ethical guidelines form the basis for most helping professions and are the guiding principles most often advocated in the field of mentoring youth.
1.Do no harm
The Hippocratic Oath implores physicians to “abstain from doing harm” or “never do harm”, but the later modification to “First, do no harm” elevates this ethic to primary status. It is the first consideration when working with people – if you don’t know what to do, don’t make the situation worse. It is very easy to get caught up in the need to “help” and feel that you must do something. Sometimes doing something, like giving uninformed advice, is worse than doing nothing.
Since everything you do can have both positive and negative consequences, you must balance this principle with principle #2 of promoting the youth’s welfare. For example, if an adolescent tells you he is going to commit suicide, then contacting his school counselor or other authority is the best thing because the good of preventing his suicide clearly outweighs the harm of breaking any confidentiality.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
What is a Mentor/Coach?
In the Right Back on Track Mentoring Program we use the term “mentor/coach” because the job is a cross between a mentor and a coach. The terms “mentor” and “coach” are often used interchangeably. However, there are differences in what mentors and coaches do.
A mentor can be conceptualized as an individual who has a personal interest in and is personally involved with the individual he or she is mentoring. Establishing a good relationship is a key element of the process for mentors. A mentor is interested in the mentee’s success and long-term development. A mentor may listen, give advice, help the mentee make decisions, and maybe even be a cheerleader for the mentee, but the mentee decides the goals and direction of the mentoring relationship.
A coach is focused on a goal and performance. A coach is typically much less personally involved with the person he or she is coaching. While it is important to have a good working relationship, the relationship is not the most important element for a coach to be successful. Indeed, in a coaching situation there is a specific agenda and goal in mind. Improving performance in order to reach that goal is the coach’s job.
When adolescents are referred to our program, they are aware that they have been missing school and adults are upset or worried about them. They also recognize that they are going to be monitored and the goal is to get them to stay in school. That sounds like it is perfect for a coaching relationship. There is an agenda and a goal. But this isn’t a football team where these adolescents want to play and are willing for someone to coach them to success. The apparent goal of staying in school may not be the adolescent’s goal. Coaching by itself only works when both parties have the same goal. While you will need to use coaching skills, adolescents will view you as just another adult who is monitoring and telling them what to do, and coaching by itself won’t be helpful.
The most important aspect of mentoring is relationship building. It is important to care about the success of these youth. Indeed, having a connection with someone who cares may be the most important element in the success of any program helping youth. In addition, successful programs with adolescents are youth focused. It is important to explore the adolescent’s interests and goals. While there may be a general goal of the adolescent staying in school, reaching that goal is more likely if the focus is on the youth’s goals. If the youth already had the goal of finishing school, he or she probably wouldn’t be in the program. In order to get buy-in from the youth, you need to use mentoring skills such as listening and helping the youth develop his or her own goals in order to be successful.
As a mentor/coach you will use skills employed by both mentors and coaches. Mentoring – building a youth-focused, trusting relationship – will be your initial goal, and coaching will occur in helping the youth attain his or her identified goals. As you go through this manual, attitudes and techniques are presented to help you in your mentoring and coaching roles.
Before leaving this section on mentoring and coaching, let’s talk about what a mentor/coach isn’t. A mentor/coach is not a therapist, clergy member, parent, or friend. It is important to understand your role because it is very easy to get these roles confused. Therapists, clergy, parents, and friends are all very important people in a youth’s life, and you may want to refer the youth to talk with these people in their life. However, their roles differ from the mentor/coach.
Therapists provide therapy and deal with mental health issues. They are licensed professionals trained to deal with psychological issues such as ADHD, depression, anxiety, and learning disabilities. Mentor/coaches do not provide mental health counseling.
Clergy, such a priests, pastors, and rabbis, are trained in religious and spiritual doctrine and practice. Mentor/coaches are not clergy and do not provide religious or spiritual advice.
Although mentor/coaches are often parents, they are not the parent of the youth they are mentoring or coaching. Mentor/coaches do not take on a parenting role.
Mentor/coaches are friendly but not friends with the youth. Mentor/coaches do not call the youth just to talk, plan parties, go out to eat, lend money, or engage in other friendship activities.
The role of a mentor/coach is extremely important. The mentor/coach plays a role that no one else in that child’s life does. By keeping fidelity to the mentor/coach role with consistent boundaries, the mentor/coach offers these adolescents a trusting, respectful way of interacting and learning.
A mentor can be conceptualized as an individual who has a personal interest in and is personally involved with the individual he or she is mentoring. Establishing a good relationship is a key element of the process for mentors. A mentor is interested in the mentee’s success and long-term development. A mentor may listen, give advice, help the mentee make decisions, and maybe even be a cheerleader for the mentee, but the mentee decides the goals and direction of the mentoring relationship.
A coach is focused on a goal and performance. A coach is typically much less personally involved with the person he or she is coaching. While it is important to have a good working relationship, the relationship is not the most important element for a coach to be successful. Indeed, in a coaching situation there is a specific agenda and goal in mind. Improving performance in order to reach that goal is the coach’s job.
When adolescents are referred to our program, they are aware that they have been missing school and adults are upset or worried about them. They also recognize that they are going to be monitored and the goal is to get them to stay in school. That sounds like it is perfect for a coaching relationship. There is an agenda and a goal. But this isn’t a football team where these adolescents want to play and are willing for someone to coach them to success. The apparent goal of staying in school may not be the adolescent’s goal. Coaching by itself only works when both parties have the same goal. While you will need to use coaching skills, adolescents will view you as just another adult who is monitoring and telling them what to do, and coaching by itself won’t be helpful.
The most important aspect of mentoring is relationship building. It is important to care about the success of these youth. Indeed, having a connection with someone who cares may be the most important element in the success of any program helping youth. In addition, successful programs with adolescents are youth focused. It is important to explore the adolescent’s interests and goals. While there may be a general goal of the adolescent staying in school, reaching that goal is more likely if the focus is on the youth’s goals. If the youth already had the goal of finishing school, he or she probably wouldn’t be in the program. In order to get buy-in from the youth, you need to use mentoring skills such as listening and helping the youth develop his or her own goals in order to be successful.
As a mentor/coach you will use skills employed by both mentors and coaches. Mentoring – building a youth-focused, trusting relationship – will be your initial goal, and coaching will occur in helping the youth attain his or her identified goals. As you go through this manual, attitudes and techniques are presented to help you in your mentoring and coaching roles.
Before leaving this section on mentoring and coaching, let’s talk about what a mentor/coach isn’t. A mentor/coach is not a therapist, clergy member, parent, or friend. It is important to understand your role because it is very easy to get these roles confused. Therapists, clergy, parents, and friends are all very important people in a youth’s life, and you may want to refer the youth to talk with these people in their life. However, their roles differ from the mentor/coach.
Therapists provide therapy and deal with mental health issues. They are licensed professionals trained to deal with psychological issues such as ADHD, depression, anxiety, and learning disabilities. Mentor/coaches do not provide mental health counseling.
Clergy, such a priests, pastors, and rabbis, are trained in religious and spiritual doctrine and practice. Mentor/coaches are not clergy and do not provide religious or spiritual advice.
Although mentor/coaches are often parents, they are not the parent of the youth they are mentoring or coaching. Mentor/coaches do not take on a parenting role.
Mentor/coaches are friendly but not friends with the youth. Mentor/coaches do not call the youth just to talk, plan parties, go out to eat, lend money, or engage in other friendship activities.
The role of a mentor/coach is extremely important. The mentor/coach plays a role that no one else in that child’s life does. By keeping fidelity to the mentor/coach role with consistent boundaries, the mentor/coach offers these adolescents a trusting, respectful way of interacting and learning.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Truancy & Dropout Epidemic
Each day in the United States well over one million middle and high school students will not attend any classes. Far from the whimsical popular culture portrayals of playing “hookey” in Huckleberry Finn or Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, chronic truancy virtually guarantees that these students will be socially and economically disadvantaged throughout their lives.
Truancy is the first step on the road to dropping out. Dropping out is the exit to underperformance and misery. And it isn’t just the truant student who suffers. Even the most conservative estimates cite the direct economic cost to the community of one student who drops out of school to be in excess of $200,000. If one considers lost wages, taxes, and other social costs over a lifetime, the impact rises to over one million dollars per dropout.
Communities, states, and even nations throughout the world are struggling to identify effective programs and policies to combat this social challenge. One of the difficulties with truancy prevention is that it touches so many fields of social activity that it gets lost between efforts. Law enforcement, family law, psychology, education, and politics all converge to influence the debate over effective responses. Within the context of this diversity of disciplines there is a rising consensus that something must be done about the problem before it gets too big to fix at all.
The front lines of the battle against truancy are staffed by school personnel and family and truancy court judges. It is these professionals who are charged with the mandate of “solving” the truancy epidemic even as it has become clear that no one party can handle the problem alone. Resolving the truancy and dropout epidemic takes the whole community working together with common purpose to protect, educate, and lead the new generation. To this end, social service organizations, government, and the private sector have joined to provide resources and best practices.
Truancy is the first step on the road to dropping out. Dropping out is the exit to underperformance and misery. And it isn’t just the truant student who suffers. Even the most conservative estimates cite the direct economic cost to the community of one student who drops out of school to be in excess of $200,000. If one considers lost wages, taxes, and other social costs over a lifetime, the impact rises to over one million dollars per dropout.
Communities, states, and even nations throughout the world are struggling to identify effective programs and policies to combat this social challenge. One of the difficulties with truancy prevention is that it touches so many fields of social activity that it gets lost between efforts. Law enforcement, family law, psychology, education, and politics all converge to influence the debate over effective responses. Within the context of this diversity of disciplines there is a rising consensus that something must be done about the problem before it gets too big to fix at all.
The front lines of the battle against truancy are staffed by school personnel and family and truancy court judges. It is these professionals who are charged with the mandate of “solving” the truancy epidemic even as it has become clear that no one party can handle the problem alone. Resolving the truancy and dropout epidemic takes the whole community working together with common purpose to protect, educate, and lead the new generation. To this end, social service organizations, government, and the private sector have joined to provide resources and best practices.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
What Types of Youth Drop Out of School?
There is no single profile for the child or adolescent who starts skipping school or finally drops out. However, there are numerous risk factors that make staying in school more difficult. Low socioeconomic status (poor family education, low family income), single-parent household, and an early history of behavior problems (child exhibits conduct problems before age 10) are risk factors that are common to a host of ongoing developmental problems. These risk factors aren’t specific to truancy and dropping out, but they put the child at risk for ongoing stress and behavioral problems that lead to truancy. With ongoing problems such as poverty and family instability, school can seem like just another burden when one’s life is already chaotic and stressful.
Youth who are truant are also often more impulsive and emotionally reactive. All children react emotionally first and often appear impulsive. Indeed, the region of our brain that helps us act more rationally and think about our actions is the last to mature. In fact, it’s not until our mid-20’s that our brains are fully developed, although it is around age 16 that adolescents begin to approximate adult abilities to inhibit behavior. But our brains develop throughout childhood, and we learn to modulate our emotions and decrease impulsivity through the guidance of parents, teachers, and others in our lives. Without this guidance, a child’s emotions will rule their behavior. This is why consistent rules and support is vital to a child, but this consistency is often missing in the life of the truant child.
Many of these youth have little parental guidance and support. Indeed, many times the parents were dropouts themselves and provide few expectations for the child to complete school. In addition, many of these parents lack the skills to help their troubled children, so even though they want their child to be in school, they don’t know what to do. Some parents give up; others become angry and aggressive. Neither approach helps the child. Therefore, it isn’t surprising that many truant youth have few problem-solving skills since they have primarily learned to give up or act out. Many truant youth think that if they are having problems in school, then leaving school is the only reasonable choice. The idea of solving a problem in another way doesn’t even occur to them.
In addition, many truant youth suffer from psychological, learning, and/or physical disabilities. For example, a child with ADHD and a learning disability is much more likely to drop out of school than a child without these disabilities. If you are getting in trouble every day and find it difficult to understand what you are reading, then school feels like torture. After someone feels like a failure over and over, there becomes little incentive to keep trying. Dropping out of school alleviates the immediate pain of feeling like a failure every day.
Students who feel marginalized are also at greater risk of dropping out. This may include students who are socially isolated and have no friends. It may also include youth who have friends who are not in school. These friends may be older youth, other dropouts, or adults who are no longer in school. When a child’s primary social supports are other dropouts, then it is more likely they will drop out. In addition, gay, lesbian, and transgendered youth are at greater risk to become dropouts because they feel marginalized or ostracized.
Although truant youth may become resentful and fight authority, most truants and dropouts want structure and predictability. Having a caring, trustworthy person in their life is missing, and providing that structure and support helps them get their footing on the path to success.
Youth who are truant are also often more impulsive and emotionally reactive. All children react emotionally first and often appear impulsive. Indeed, the region of our brain that helps us act more rationally and think about our actions is the last to mature. In fact, it’s not until our mid-20’s that our brains are fully developed, although it is around age 16 that adolescents begin to approximate adult abilities to inhibit behavior. But our brains develop throughout childhood, and we learn to modulate our emotions and decrease impulsivity through the guidance of parents, teachers, and others in our lives. Without this guidance, a child’s emotions will rule their behavior. This is why consistent rules and support is vital to a child, but this consistency is often missing in the life of the truant child.
Many of these youth have little parental guidance and support. Indeed, many times the parents were dropouts themselves and provide few expectations for the child to complete school. In addition, many of these parents lack the skills to help their troubled children, so even though they want their child to be in school, they don’t know what to do. Some parents give up; others become angry and aggressive. Neither approach helps the child. Therefore, it isn’t surprising that many truant youth have few problem-solving skills since they have primarily learned to give up or act out. Many truant youth think that if they are having problems in school, then leaving school is the only reasonable choice. The idea of solving a problem in another way doesn’t even occur to them.
In addition, many truant youth suffer from psychological, learning, and/or physical disabilities. For example, a child with ADHD and a learning disability is much more likely to drop out of school than a child without these disabilities. If you are getting in trouble every day and find it difficult to understand what you are reading, then school feels like torture. After someone feels like a failure over and over, there becomes little incentive to keep trying. Dropping out of school alleviates the immediate pain of feeling like a failure every day.
Students who feel marginalized are also at greater risk of dropping out. This may include students who are socially isolated and have no friends. It may also include youth who have friends who are not in school. These friends may be older youth, other dropouts, or adults who are no longer in school. When a child’s primary social supports are other dropouts, then it is more likely they will drop out. In addition, gay, lesbian, and transgendered youth are at greater risk to become dropouts because they feel marginalized or ostracized.
Although truant youth may become resentful and fight authority, most truants and dropouts want structure and predictability. Having a caring, trustworthy person in their life is missing, and providing that structure and support helps them get their footing on the path to success.
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