What is a Mentor/Coach?

In the Right Back on Track Mentoring Program we use the term “mentor/coach” because the job is a cross between a mentor and a coach. The terms “mentor” and “coach” are often used interchangeably. However, there are differences in what mentors and coaches do.

A mentor can be conceptualized as an individual who has a personal interest in and is personally involved with the individual he or she is mentoring. Establishing a good relationship is a key element of the process for mentors. A mentor is interested in the mentee’s success and long-term development. A mentor may listen, give advice, help the mentee make decisions, and maybe even be a cheerleader for the mentee, but the mentee decides the goals and direction of the mentoring relationship.

A coach is focused on a goal and performance. A coach is typically much less personally involved with the person he or she is coaching. While it is important to have a good working relationship, the relationship is not the most important element for a coach to be successful. Indeed, in a coaching situation there is a specific agenda and goal in mind. Improving performance in order to reach that goal is the coach’s job.

When adolescents are referred to our program, they are aware that they have been missing school and adults are upset or worried about them. They also recognize that they are going to be monitored and the goal is to get them to stay in school. That sounds like it is perfect for a coaching relationship. There is an agenda and a goal. But this isn’t a football team where these adolescents want to play and are willing for someone to coach them to success. The apparent goal of staying in school may not be the adolescent’s goal. Coaching by itself only works when both parties have the same goal. While you will need to use coaching skills, adolescents will view you as just another adult who is monitoring and telling them what to do, and coaching by itself won’t be helpful.

The most important aspect of mentoring is relationship building. It is important to care about the success of these youth. Indeed, having a connection with someone who cares may be the most important element in the success of any program helping youth. In addition, successful programs with adolescents are youth focused. It is important to explore the adolescent’s interests and goals. While there may be a general goal of the adolescent staying in school, reaching that goal is more likely if the focus is on the youth’s goals. If the youth already had the goal of finishing school, he or she probably wouldn’t be in the program. In order to get buy-in from the youth, you need to use mentoring skills such as listening and helping the youth develop his or her own goals in order to be successful.

As a mentor/coach you will use skills employed by both mentors and coaches. Mentoring – building a youth-focused, trusting relationship – will be your initial goal, and coaching will occur in helping the youth attain his or her identified goals. As you go through this manual, attitudes and techniques are presented to help you in your mentoring and coaching roles.

Before leaving this section on mentoring and coaching, let’s talk about what a mentor/coach isn’t. A mentor/coach is not a therapist, clergy member, parent, or friend. It is important to understand your role because it is very easy to get these roles confused. Therapists, clergy, parents, and friends are all very important people in a youth’s life, and you may want to refer the youth to talk with these people in their life. However, their roles differ from the mentor/coach.

Therapists provide therapy and deal with mental health issues. They are licensed professionals trained to deal with psychological issues such as ADHD, depression, anxiety, and learning disabilities. Mentor/coaches do not provide mental health counseling.

Clergy, such a priests, pastors, and rabbis, are trained in religious and spiritual doctrine and practice. Mentor/coaches are not clergy and do not provide religious or spiritual advice.

Although mentor/coaches are often parents, they are not the parent of the youth they are mentoring or coaching. Mentor/coaches do not take on a parenting role.

Mentor/coaches are friendly but not friends with the youth. Mentor/coaches do not call the youth just to talk, plan parties, go out to eat, lend money, or engage in other friendship activities.

The role of a mentor/coach is extremely important. The mentor/coach plays a role that no one else in that child’s life does. By keeping fidelity to the mentor/coach role with consistent boundaries, the mentor/coach offers these adolescents a trusting, respectful way of interacting and learning.