Mentor/Coach Skills

Within the context of a youth-oriented, solution-focused approach, there are numerous skills that will help you as a mentor/coach. Perhaps the most important skill is your ability to present yourself as someone who is positive and truly interested in the adolescent. Showing interest includes consistency with what you say and do as well as a caring tone of voice. The following techniques will help you establish rapport and keep the youth on a positive path to change.

Active Listening
Listening is the most important approach you can use when working with any person, regardless of age. If you find yourself talking more than the adolescent is talking, then something is wrong. While there are times when you will be explaining a skill to a youth and do a lot of talking, it is generally best for the youth to be processing their thoughts verbally with guidance from you.

Active listening means that you are not doing something else (e.g., watching TV, playing video games, writing a letter) while listening to the youth and occasionally grunting “uh-huh.” Sometimes silence is an important part of active listening. It allows the youth space to talk. Allowing youth the time to talk without interruption can be quite beneficial. It is very easy to feel the need to interject or correct something the youth says, but just listening is often the best way to let them think out load.

There are approaches to active listening that help the youth know you really are listening:
• Paraphrasing – rephrasing what the adolescent has said assures him or her that you accurately heard what he or she said and helps the adolescent understand how others hear or understand them. Paraphrasing is especially helpful if you can paraphrase using the youth’s expressed sensory phrasing. People often use sensory words to explain themselves, such as see, hear, feel, smell, and taste, and they will often use similar sensory imaging throughout their talk. Using these words, a process often referred to as mirroring, in your paraphrase can enhance rapport and empathy.
o For example, the youth states, “My mother just doesn’t see it the way I do. She’s always telling me to look before I leap, but I’m not even sure what she means. I just can’t see a way to solve my problems.”
You paraphrase, “You just can’t see where your mother is coming from.” In this case, you could have said that the youth didn’t understand his mother, but using “see” allows you to show direct empathy by using the youth’s favored sensory language. It’s an unobtrusive way to connect. There is no need to overdo it and try to always mirror words or phrases, but occasionally using such language makes people feel you are listening and understand.

• Clarification – clarifying what the youth said can verify the accuracy of what you heard. This may be done in conjunction with a paraphrase by asking if what you heard was correct.
o For example, after a youth discusses his frustration with his teachers, you could both paraphrase and clarify by stating, “You don’t think that your teacher listens to you and that she tends to blame you for every problem in the classroom. Do I understand that right?”

• Reflection – rephrasing the stated emotion can enhance empathy and encourage further expression.
o For example, the youth says, “I am so mad at my dad. He never lets me do anything and is always on my back about some mistake I made!”
You reflect, “You’re really frustrated with the way your dad treats you.”

• Summarizing – briefly reviewing what you have discussed helps tie elements of the discussion together. This is especially helpful at the end of your session to help recall what was discussed and to set up plans.

How is your state doing?

Good data on graduation rates by state is found here.

DTPN ATTENDS NCJFCJ CONFERENCE IN NY

Judge Linda Penn and Mary Kerr of DTPN

Linda Penn and NCJFCJ President Judge Patricia M. Martin of Chicago

DTPN Partners with Amprey & Associates

DTPN is pleased to be partnered with Amprey & Associates.

Dropout Prevention PSA Video From Akansas

It does not take too many words or images to tell this story. Click on the video.

Where I Come From

I was struck by the power of this poem. It comes from a student at one of the high schools in Chicago where we have deployed the Right Back on Track Mentoring program. Despite the circumstances, the author clearly has a gift for language.


WHERE I COME FROM
By: Diaunta Smith

Black History Month
1st PLACE WINNER

Late night wilding
Wind blowing smiling
Heat in control
Every corner full of those
Who chose to live blank
Take a walk up the street
No one great you will meet
They get down and distasteful
And every teen ungrateful
Usually mama and dad make the wrong decision
Or one or another deceased and not living
8 out of 10 black males end up dead or in jail
While the other two try their best not to fail
Females on the other hand are faster than cars
And if you got money they want to know who you are
Dogs fighting dogs but, being led by people
Compared to the rich
We will never be equal
Let them tell it we were born to fail
That’s why asking where I’m from is like asking how is living in hell?

Send in the Marines!

When I was training as a U.S. Marine officer in the mid-1980s, my instructors imparted a lesson that, while culturally characteristic of that fighting organization, has stuck with me to this day. When faced with almost any sort of a tactical or operational challenge, the answer is to attack – and not just point at the enemy and shoot, but aggressively attack with a vengeance and with spirit.

That same ethos needs to be brought to bear on the dropout epidemic. We must attack, attack and attack again. This bias for action must define our response – or we will lose another generation while we study, dither and debate.